


Drive

by Morpheus626



Category: Saints Row
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-03
Updated: 2020-07-03
Packaged: 2021-03-04 19:27:44
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,599
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25041655
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Morpheus626/pseuds/Morpheus626
Summary: An originally untitled mini fic involving one of my first Saints Row Bosses, Ell, Johnny, Shaundi, and the fact that Ell should likely have never been given anything resembling a drivers license. Set within the timeline of the end of SR4 and pre-Gat Out of Hell.
Kudos: 3





	Drive

**Author's Note:**

> I'm slowly backing up all my fic that has previously only been on Tumblr to AO3, starting with this one! As such, the very oldest like this one are pretty short and haven't been re-edited, and it shows lol. Hopefully folks will enjoy them nonetheless!

“Why is it we don’t get hazard pay?” Shaundi asked as they approached the stark white all-terrain vehicle. 

“Because gangs don’t usually offer hazard pay, because you get enough of a share from the money laundering, because Jesus we already offer you all a 401K and Roth IRA to choose from, so stop bitching?” Ell replied, the keys to the vehicle held tight in her hand. She was beyond pumped to get behind the wheel, and didn’t have time for anyone’s bullshit.

Shaundi scoffed. “The Earth is gone, so I don’t think our previous retirement plan means shit, and we don’t have any businesses to run or money to launder so…that all means nothing. And I am almost positive I will die if I get in that with you.” 

Ell gave her a shocked look. “Shaundi, I’m offended. I can drive perfectly well when I want to, you know that.” 

“No. No, no one would ever have said you drive well. Scarily, badly, with a dangerous lack of self preservation–but not well.”

“Come on Shaundi, this is going to be fun, I promise. Besides, Johnny’s coming with.” Ell opened the door of the vehicle, and Johnny popped out of it as if on cue.

“This thing basically drives itself–we’ll be fine. Might get some paint scraped off of it, but we’ll come out fine.” Johnny reassured. 

Shaundi shook her head. “Nuh uh. No, nope, not happening. If that thing tips–”

“It won’t tip!” Ell yelled. “Please just come along–I wanted you with because you and Pierce have already been on the surface, you know what to look out for.” 

“You could have just brought Pierce, and made him ride in the death-mobile.” Shaundi’s arms were crossed, and she seemed dangerously close to heading back to the ship–which is exactly what Ell didn’t want to happen.

“And Pierce would get distracted trying to find the radio on this thing, which it doesn’t even have, we’d hit a pothole, and everyone would die, probably. So it has to be you, and I really want it to be you. _Please_?” Ell was almost ready to beg.

Shaundi groaned. “Fucking fine. But if I die, and you live, I’m haunting your ass forever.” 

“Wouldn’t want it any other way.” Ell said, a shit-eating grin plastered across her face. 

They piled into the armored hull of the vehicle. It was surprisingly warm and comfortable, and for Ell it felt like home. It was a car she basically couldn’t destroy, and those were her absolute favorites. 

“You guys ready to fuck shit up?” Ell asked, nearly bouncing in the driver’s seat.

Shaundi sighed, and stared at the floor, but Johnny gave her an optimistic smile. That was enough of an answer for her. 

“Let’s get going!” She yelled, laughing as the engine buzzed (a little bit disappointingly) to life and she shifted into drive–or so she thought.

They lurched backwards and Johnny’s smile dropped. “You looked at the manual for this thing, right? I can run and get it if you want; I know Kinzie has it…” 

“Please! Yes, let’s all go back and get the manual, and then not get back in here.” Shaundi moved towards the door, but was slammed back as Ell pulled the vehicle into the proper gear and started forwards.

“I got this, stop worrying! The windows on the side are way too little, but take a look out–there’s so much to explore, and probably a ton of crap we can blow up! What isn’t to love about this?” Ell wanted to cry for happiness–she was finally behind the wheel of a real, wheels-on-the-dirt car with two of her best friends and best lieutenants and she felt amazing.

The next few miles were surprisingly quiet–Ell managed to find and stay on a dirt road, though she didn’t really remember where it lead. She’d only glanced at the map Kinzie had given her, and was counting on Shaundi to say if they were about to drive off a cliff or into a lake.

“There’s a fucking cliff up ahead, slow the fuck down! What the fuck, Pierce almost fell off of it too when we first came to walk around down here–do you two have a death wish or something?” Shaundi shouted.

“Sorry, fuck!” Ell pulled off to the side of the road, leaving them maybe a foot before the edge of the cliff. “Does the road end here or…” 

“Yeah, it does. We shoulda turned right miles back, that would have taken us to some building–no idea what it is, the map doesn’t say, but we could have gone there.” Johnny said, studying the map in his hands carefully. “I mean, this is fine too–we totally gotta jump a car off this shit at some point.” 

There was dead silence until Shaundi snatched the map out of Johnny’s hands. “You had this the entire time, and nearly let us go over a cliff?!” 

He shrugged. “Key word is nearly. We’re fine, car’s fine, let’s turn around and check out something else.” 

“Agreed. I’ll take that right and we can stop at whatever that building is on the map–I promise, Shaundi, no more major fuck ups. You can chill.” Ell turned back to the wheel, her heart still pounding with adrenaline.

“I don’t necessarily believe you–but fine. I mean, I could enjoy this if I didn’t think I was gonna die…if you can try and drive carefully, there’s a town nearby and the Xoatl there are friendly and seem happy we’ve taken over. Might do some good to talk to people, since we annihilated their leader and all.” Shaundi sat back and slumped in her seat. 

“Okay. I can do that.” Ell looked to the energy gauge (which, according to Kinzie, was the same as a gas gauge–the vehicle used batteries rather than gasoline) and let her head thunk on the steering wheel in frustration. “Actually, I can’t.” 

“The car is dead, isn’t it?” Shaundi asked, her head in her hands.

“Yup.” Ell said as she raised her head and turned to Shaundi and Johnny.

“And we don’t know how to or have anything to charge it back up, do we?” 

“That pretty much sums it up, yeah.”Johnny said. “Don’t freak out though–Kinzie and Asha put shit together for us if we got stuck somewhere.” 

He pulled open a compartment hidden in the ceiling and food, blankets, and god only knew what else rained to the floor. It was a beautiful sight, but not one that left Ell feeling great.

“So they pretty much knew I was gonna fuck up after like an hour of being out here?” She mumbled. 

Johnny frowned. “Don’t think of it like that–they put this shit in here in case anyone got stuck in this thing, not just you. They figured we all had an equal chance at fucking up as soon as we got out and started driving around.”

“Equal opportunity fuck-ups–that phrase shouldn’t make me feel better but…” Ell smiled. “Kinda does.” 

“Actually, we’ve all been kind of stir-crazy on the ship lately–they didn’t plan this, did they?” Shaundi asked. 

There was a beat, and then a moment of realization that smacked them all in the face. 

“Well fuck. Guess we did need a break away from the ship–they could have just asked though. No goddamn respect, that’s the problem.” Ell grumbled. 

Johnny laughed. “Bullshit. You’re just pissed that they did us a favor without us figuring it out. Let em have this one.” 

“This could be worse, actually. After all, now that we can’t go anywhere, you can’t accidentally tip the car over and kill us all.” Shaundi smiled, for the first time in the trip, clearly at peace with the moment if only because it wasn’t currently involving Ell’s awful driving.

“There’s nothing that can kill us out here though, right? Like, we’ll be fine until Kinzie or Keith or someone can come out and bring a new battery?” Ell asked. 

“…Kinzie didn’t say shit about that.” Johnny said. 

“Guns out then, and the second we hear something sniffing around the car we get out and shoot it. Agreed?” Ell asked.

“Or we could get out and shoot stuff now, and scare away whatever is out there.” Shaundi offered. 

Ell pushed her way into the backseat and wrapped Shaundi in a hug. “Best idea ever! I told you that you would end up liking this!” 

Shaundi rolled her eyes, but the smile hadn’t left her face. “I don’t know if I like what’s happened–but I can deal. That, and I know I can kill more of whatever the fuck might be out there than you two can.” 

“You fucking think so? Then prove it!” Ell pushed the door open and jumped outside with Johnny and Shaundi right behind her, guns in hand. 

As they ran off, the still-unnoticed radio crackled to life. “So. Guess no one listened when I said I would be putting a mic in the vehicle and using the radio to check in.” Kinzie sighed, the sarcasm in her voice dripping over the mic. “Glad to know I’m listened to–shame there’s no one hear now to hear me say that it might be another day till we can get a new battery out. Or how I totally won the bet that you assholes would get stuck out there.” 

There was another frustrated sigh, and then silence, except for the echo of gunshots in the distance. 


End file.
